Sometimes we actually learn from our mistakes.

I had an experience this week with a friend. I have known her for about a year. I thought we were good enough friends that we could talk about pretty much anything. I felt I had been pretty supportive this year and a good friend. I know sometimes I can give the "look" when I'm irritated or upset. Those of you who know me and love me throw it back at me or just ignore it. It used to be there a lot.

Well apparently I gave it too many times to this friend and she didn't like my sarcastic sense of humor. Ok that's fine. I asked her months ago if she was upset with me and she said no. So I let it go. Well I took her a gift the other day and it's been probably a couple of months since I've seen her. I sort reduced the amount I was seeing her. She quit answering my calls or texting me. And she had an emergency in her family that consumed her, which it should had.

So anyway I went over there and thought everything was fine until she asked why I didn't like her and was mean to her. What? She said I had been that way the whole time she had known me. I thought this was weird. So I talked to her and told her yes I was irritated by a couple of things but got over them and even asked her if anything was wrong. She went crazy. She started screaming at me and threw me out of her house. I have never been treated like that in my life. I know I have been the bearer of such crazy things in high school, sorry people. I do have a temper.

It seems that everywhere I have lived I have had one sort of "friendship" that ends up like this. What am I supposed to learn? Why haven't I learned it? Well as I left that house.... It took me the bike ride home to really get angry, but actually more hurt I realized that before I would have been right back in her face yelling and screaming profanities. Yes not proud of that, but my reaction would have been there. Not this time. I was calm and collected. I didn't swear at her. I talked never yelled at her. When I got home and over my anger, I realized that I have grown as a person. Sure people might not like me and think I'm a terrible person, but I have realized that I am of worth and I don't deserve to be treated that way. I'm not saying I didn't have a part in what happened, I did as I said before, but I tried calmly to talk and work it out.

For that I am happy. I'm never happy to end a friendship. I feel that I am a loyal friend but I realize too that I don't need to have such negativity in my life and am happy to move on. Sometimes relationships aren't good for us and I think I have finally learned from my mistakes to quit trying to make it work and just move on. I think we need to be kind to everyone but we don't have to be friends.

I think this was my bit of therapy for the day. I'm going to make this new week and year the best yet. I have a new outlook. After all I have less than 24 hours left in this year of my life. I'm excited to make changes to the next one.